Self Examination Saturdays: Rebound to the Malcontented

“A deep man believes that the evil eye can wither, the heart’s blessing can heal, and that love can overcome all odds.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Strange title I know, but I’m trying to essentially re-frame the concept of a return to sender spell today. I legitimately wanted to publish this last night on Friday with a quote, however, I came home with a headache from working my part time cosmetology job with having spent all day re-tagging and smelling Sharpie marker so I could not find the motivation.

Any and all underlined hyperlink text is a great way for you to comprehend what this blog post means in turning away the Evil Eye.


I’ve also been through two weeks of squeezing in job hunting for full time work and a change to remove the strain of retail on my previously fractured as well as surgery foot where I experience neuropathy. I had one interview for a salon opening in August as receptionist. This upcoming Monday one day before my 43rd birthday I’m interviewing for a receptionist position with a plumbing/drain cleaning company.

I’m leaning towards this one because it will include a $15,000-$20,000 per year income glow up with fully paid for insurance, a 401K, paid vacation, 1 hr lunch, and gym membership. But it’s also going to detract Monday through Friday from my ability to be here publishing much less doing organic gardening the way I’ve been thus far. I’m going to need to scale that back quite a bit to remove stress/pressure.

There will have to be a trade off for this one given the hours I will be working would be 7:30 AM CST to 4:30 PM CST plus any commute. Such is life, and really I’ve never been up for an interview for a position like this one. Every job I’ve had has been locked in at the $20,000 or below a year income bracket so…

Hence why I’ve been going through the motions in life with hiccups despite also paying for and succeeding at two different post high school educations. Not to mention the part time cosmetology job has been interesting given the location for one of the stores is near a gas station/convenience store so ourselves as well as the next door salon are coping with feigning off the resident alcoholic problem. I spend many days there managing the store alone.

And the salon has been routinely warning me as well as checking in on me because once someone went in and stole items from the salon who were homeless and yesterday an inebriated person off the street as we’ll call them harassed a stylist sexually forcing them to threaten to call the police because he would not leave the salon otherwise. I’m just really unsure about the state of humanity in 2022!

The same person threw their hat at the glass windows of our store so I locked up for a while only unlocking to allow customers in/out to shop in an attempt to retain a safe environment while cautioning them of what was happening. Then there are the random non licensed or expired license cosmetologists who try to purchase from the company which we have to find a way to politely yet firmly turn away. Didn’t I say nothing around here is very humdrum or boring?

The customers still had to access the same parking lot that these people are coming/going in after all. I’ll keep you updated if I change jobs so that you’re made aware of changes to my publishing routines because I’ll have to reduce my side gig time. I won’t be capable of managing it all otherwise as I’m only one woman here.

The concept of an Evil Eye relates back to the ruins of modern day Syria around 1250 BC which was picked up by later cultures to include Judaism, Christianity, and Islam as well as the geographic regions of the Carribbean/West Indies, Turkey, Ethiopia, Senegal, India, Pakistan, and Italy as well as the USA and Spain/Latin American countries.

Our very word fascinate derives from a phallic charm used as an apotropaic against the Evil Eye dating in the first century BC through the fourth century AD known as the fascinum which in Latin etymologically refers to casting a spell. We might find charms worn as finger rings or pendants as well as stone carvings upon buildings.

In my beliefs the Evil Eye tends to stem from malcontent when someone feels wronged and seeks revenge, suffers from jealousy/envy, or they simply don’t care that their intent is malicious in how they interact with another. It is literally as well as metaphorically known as staring eyes with a spiteful gaze.

I wanted to use the Solar Return chart as I’ve been doing leading up to my birthday to chart the Asteroid Miriam (102) because the Hamsa is a charm often utilized to ward these energies off which I’m sure many are familiar with.

The Hamsa, Khamsa, and Hamesh means five relating to the fingers of the hand which any student of esoterics knows can relate to other concepts like palmistry, the five senses, and the five elements (Earth, air, fire, water, and akasha/akashic records).

“Never let Vikings near your stone countertops. They’d just rune them.” – Unknown

Step father bought me this honey mead called Odin’s Skull for my birthday; no clue what it’s like! Oddly I’m hearing Led Zeppelin in my brain again.

The above won’t make sense to those unaware of the matriarchy ties being Ashkenazi and immigrating from Germany/Denmark or my name meaning as it does which I’ve written about. I think the Law of Attraction or collective manifestation is trying to have a sense of humor, but I sense my mom will be unimpressed. 😂

There is a spiritual practice and remedy ascribed to our karma through our Third Eye chakra as well where we can burn what is stored. This relates to mantra as well. Soham, for example, is derived via Sah/That and Aham/I where we work with the breath to manifest the physical via the spoken word. Your individual soul not your body, mind, emotions, or social standing are what creates.

Our chakras combined with light, intelligence, cognition, and self awareness on a higher level can create karma and we often operate through individualization as Jung makes a further point of. Yet we ignore dissolution which when experienced as the Ultimate Self through kundalini yoga allows us to enter the Cosmic Aham.

Hamsa is the carrier/transport of Saraswati relating further to the swan which is vital to achieving liberation or moksha. If we remove Maya or illusion allowing Shiva Shakti to unite as allegory says on the body of water or summation of experiences entering flow then we can deepen knowledge of our own Ultimate Self.

Additionally called the Hand of Miriam or within Levantine Christian culture the Hand of Mary as well as within Islam the Hand of Fatima many use this symbol to defend against the destructive qualities of such ill wishing from another.

I’ve read within Islam some hold the belief that through understanding our astrology chart to become conscious as Jung has directed of our unconscious we may find that the unfavorable celestial configurations can make one the victim of the Evil Eye.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula made mention in 1897 of a simple and instant protection within European Christianity where the sign of the cross made with your hand while pointing two fingers, markedly your index as well as middle finger, towards the source of negative influence or the victim of the Evil Eye could act as a protective spell.

India has what I find to be the most interesting in that babies may be seen wearing kajal or black eyeliner to ward off the Evil Eye and the evil auras of another. Italians can be seen using a mudra that many misinterpret called the “little horn” or cornetto which has also been called the fig sign which I won’t get fully into the disclosure of to deal with the Evil Eye.

Others will find this purely superstitious, but ultimately how many do you know who speak and wish harm on another when they’ve felt wronged or offended. And how many of us have been guilty of the same once, twice, or thrice in our lives because we’ve let ourselves be consumed with the need to seek vengeance or revenge?

Now I’ve touched upon this previously in my first round covering the traditional zodiac signs albeit I’ve not finished this carrying through the Asiatic zodiac, but I’ll include a spell that can be worked with before nose diving into some astrology. Please note spells such as these don’t have to be utilized just for people.

You could use this to remove negative habits you still wish to abandon such as the spirit or embodiment of procrastination, greed, pride, addictions of any/all kinds, and so forth. I used to have an addiction to video games I could not control where I spent way too much time/money. Kudos to my co-worker trying to quit smoking! That’s gotta not be easy, but a goal one can certainly achieve and be proud of!

“May happiness surround you and stay out of harm’s way.” – Anonymous

If you’re the victim of baneful magic meant to harm yourself or others which are commonly called jinxes, hexes, and curses try applying the following to return the bad mojo to the originator of these energies/vibrations. These spells are not wrong and simply work as a form of a rightful justice spell because really in the first place we should be well wishers for self and other.

Take one small candle, salt mixed with rosemary, a fire safe bowl to collect the ashes or you can work with a chiminea if you possess one as I do, sage as a smudging herb, the essential oil of clove, and a piece of paper with pen/pencil. Begin by smudging the area within which you work, invite in your angels, ancestors, or spirit guides, and then draw on the piece of paper the runes of Nauthiz (banishment; leaving someone out in the cold) as well as Algiz (protection).

Under Nauthiz write “I drive you out” and insert the name if you know the offender or describe the energies you wish to banish. Finally under Algiz write “For my highest benefit.” With a scissor cut out the name of the person or energies you wish to remove. Anoint your candle in the essential oil and then place the salt into the fire safe bowl. Here you will burn and release this spell into the Universe/Cosmos.

As this is occurring close your eyes, breathe deeply, and set your positive intentions. Please do not perform this spell while you’re hostile or angry. The ritual may be closed by envisioning one’s self safe, warm, and protected with the affirmation that reads “I am safe from you, released from your grip, and I reclaim my power and sovereignty now. Blessed be and so it is.”

Metaphysically Miriam relates to the soul or Divine Feminine quality of love for she as well as Moses are derived from the Tribe of Levi (love) usually displayed when one is struggling with freeing themselves from the errors of a selfish personality. We also find Miriam metaphysically symbolic of one who desires to be fully released from the bondage of human limitations to enter wholly into the promised land of wholeness.

It’s at this stage where one has yet to fully overcome the bitter and rebellious tendencies of the five senses or desire nature, but has awakened to higher possibilities. Miriam holds a correlation as well to the Hebrew letter Mem.

Solar Return Chart for Asteroid Miriam

From birth to Solar Return we might see some changes as I described previously within these topics. We can see within my Solar Return that Asteroid Miriam makes it’s debut within my 6th House of Virgo at 6° sextile the Moon.

This specific chart will not show what my other astrology software depicts, but if we add the addition of some asteroids such as Pallas, Ceres, Vesta, and Juno or even Lilith we find two Stelliums emerge with a Grand Cross, Multiple Planet Square, a Cradle, and finally the infamous Yod or finger of God/fate.

My Solar Return on my other software for astrology shows a mirroring of my natal chart completely different from what displays for it is like holding the natal chart up to a mirror literally and observing polar opposites reminiscent of Alice’s Looking Glass adventures.

As I’ve been decoding this I’ve seen some interesting energies come forth. But I digress back to Asteroid Miriam we will be working with the following. The sextile placement is called or known as astonishing empathy for the soul begins to merge with the reasoning abilities of one who is smart, eloquent, and understanding.

Their mental health improves when they develop intrapersonal intelligence becoming adept at knowing what to say while developing active listening skills. With a fondness for learning you will find us buried in literature or reading as these past times tickle our fancy.

Our 6th House is the guide towards health/wellness, daily habits, and how we go about selfless service. It’s ruled by Virgo which can imply workaholism, but is a strong indicator of one’s skillfulness, work ethic, and how they will perform within any team. Not only a hub of caring for others, but a great location to understand how one employs self love or care. We must watch our nervous system as well as our diet.

The chart holder is able to help others move forward in their lives through their capability to clearly read where the stuck places are, the blockages, and the fears that stop or retard the journey. One often works in an unseen manner subtly and indirectly instilling in others a confidence in themselves that they were lacking.

The Chandra Symbol for this degree is “A banyan tree that creates an entire forest.” Knowledge proliferates giving birth to more knowledge. This degree is aware of the connectedness of gnosis and the way it spawns more of itself infinitely.

The chart holder must not be overwhelmed by this nor try to assimilate all of it. It is enough to know that it is there when one needs it. One is here to protect and guide others toward the Palace of Wisdom. Work with guardian angel Vasariah and daimon Asmoday.

Daimon Asmoday relates to the 6 of Swords, Sun, Aquarius, and Sunflower (seeds). This daimon is great to work with for learning about various computer software and the technical fields. If you have a passion for building a website or learning specific programs such as those I might utilize in the administrative careers I am seeking then Asmoday is a great ally.

There seems some confusion here in symbolism if we were to think back to even the tarot. Asmoday displays with the head of a bull, a man, a ram, and the tail of a serpent. First of all within tarot upon the Wheel of Fortune we see the bull (Taurus), the man (Aquarius), an Eagle (Scorpio), and well we know the rest. Thus the ram is Aries in the depiction of this daimon.

The serpent aspect is a direct representation of kundalini. But as always the fearful choose how they wish to live for as they say we choose fear of God/Goddess or the love of God/Goddess to view our perspectives in life.

The Wheel of Fortune is about the wand of Jupiter and our karma coming back upon us thus as I’ve stated above it’s best to be a well wisher so that your karmic reward returns to you rather than a malefic.

If you want life to revolve in your favor upon a completed cycle take responsibility for your actions. Other lessons you might see imparted by this daimon include astronomy, arithmetic, geomancy, and the ability to read the auras of others.

The banyan is the tree representing Magha nakshatra which I’ve spoken about being born into representing our ancestors. As many who follow me know the matriarchal ancestral records came to me as inheritance upon the passing of my maternal grandfather.

A great crystal for this degree to work with is Pink Tourmaline expressing enjoyment and optimism while in group situations acting as a shield of protection teaching that innocence gives birth to great wisdom while focusing upon supporting the soul’s journey. The affirmation is my life is filled with joy, merriment, and delight.

Now buckle in because this degree also sits upon the Spindle Galaxy within Sextans where there is a super massive black hole as well as Alula Borealis within the hind foot of Ursa Major the Great Bear.

The sextant is a navigational tool to measure the altitude of celestial bodies allowing one to determine latitude/longitude. Above the alpha star of Sextans you will find the alpha star of Leo, Regulus, which with Ketu rules Magha nakshatra.

Alpha as well as beta stars in Sextans sit on the zero latitude or zero declination of the celstial equator. Sextant derives from sixteen, sixty, sextile, siesta, and Sistine regarding the Sistine Chapel.

Other references include the sudatoriam or ancient Roman bath house comparable to modern saunas, jacuzzis, and sweat lodges. Further there is a constellation known as Sextans Uraniae referencing the muse of astronomy. This further relates to the Sacral chakra via the six petal lotus.

Commonly called the Leaps of the Gazelle we find that Alula Borealis is more akin to the mythology of Callisto in Greek cosmology or astrotheology. Not much is said of this fixed star, but the Kabbalists tend to associate it with the Hebrew letter Zain/Zayin as well as the tarot trump The Chariot.

May you have an entertaining Saturday. Sending you positive vibrations and best wishes! My birthday is officially Tuesday the 26th of July. I’m not entirely sure how we will be celebrating. I generally prefer something low key!

Regular blog followers have probably gotten used to the zany things I share through publishing and these odd connections I always locate; well I hope they’ve gotten used to this. 🎠🥳🎂🎁

Above is the peanut plant still growing in what was the carrot bed which the squirrels planted because our neighbor feeds them as well as our garlic chives, sweet potatoes, and the hollyhock which we have two that are not flowering this year only growing stems/leaves.
Zinnias and other wildflowers here to amuse the pollinators especially our resident hummingbird.
Roma tomatoes and basil are surviving the drought and triple digits in Texas.
I harvested yet more sunflower seeds today.

PS: Pardon any typographical or other errors. I tried to proofread, but I’m certain I’ve missed something.

Manifestation Mondays: Going In Search of Honey

“What is a bee’s favorite part of a relationship? The honeymoon period.” – Unknown

This blog post is taken from the following quote:

“When you go in search of honey, you must expect to be stung by bees.”

  • Joseph Joubert

May you have a sweet journey as you traverse the underlined hyperlink text; but hopefully not too sticky!


For those who are unfamiliar with the Beehive Cluster also known as M44, NGC 2632, or Praesepe which is Latin for the manger/crib it happens to be one of the nearest clusters to Earth found within the constellation Cancer. As one of the first objects which Galileo studied with his telescope its guide stars include Regulus (connected with my birth nakshatra in Magha and Ketu), Castor, and Pollux.

In 2012 it is believed that two planets were found within the Beehive Cluster orbiting separate stars the same way Earth orbits the Sun. These were named Pr0201b and Pr0211b respectively with the “b” at the end of their names indicating that they’re planets. They are also termed Hot Jupiters or massive gas giants orbitting very close to their parent stars. Later in 2016 an additional planet was found becoming Pr0211c.

The beehive, a symbol of industry, has a queen yet this symbol is also representative of the journey from death to new life as in regeneration or even reincarnation. Bees neither toil nor sweat rolling in flowers while drinking nectar they serve creation.

Following their bliss rewards us with a perfect eternal food known as honey given that we don’t contribute to the extinction of their varied species as humans with our interventions for better/worse.

Many celebrated the bee or beehive as an intermediary to the Divine as well as symbolic of healers. Beekeeping offers the discipline of listening internally for guidance. Frequencies and vibrations also connect with healing touch not unlike ideas found within Reiki.

If you were to observe a bee colony within the hive you’d notice that they respond behaviorally to recorded bee sounds. If you were to use a healthy beehive recording the same way many of us use brain entrainment music then you would keep bees within a healthy frequency state.

Another tool would be quantum physics where I’ve read of the copper tool known as the Star Burst which is based upon precise dimensions drawn from ancient Egyptian astronomy that establishes a coherent energy field.

This coherent energy field will establish efficient and effortless transmissions like channeled/automatic writings to transmit the energy harmonically coupled to the Eath’s Universal/Cosmic gravitation wave. I’ve touched on these topics repeatedly in my studies on topics such as zero point energy.

If we take a vibrating tuning fork and activate it within the harmonic range a resonance occurs and colony insects such as bees require high energy fields that are higher than the Schumann Resonance of 7.83 hz.

On Earth we have fault lines, fissures, mineral deposits, and other non-beneficial areas disrupting even water flow which harm most living organisms. If we tune the frequencies correctly colonies will be supported via an effortless source of free energy.

It is the Star Burst which can increase this field coherency regardless of location transferring effortlessly social colony organization within and beyond the beehive. Even during droughts you can still harvest honey from the beehive with these systems employed.

Experiments done with compact discs recording healthy beehives can through quantum physics and electromagnetics be clipped to the Star Burst to piggyback on a generated wave. An entire environment is surrounded and raised to a sacred space with high levels of super organization creating interdependence that serves a sacred purpose.

It is called a unified field rather than existing within chaos. When we enter this unified field we are enshrouded not in fear, but within a field of love that is life altering and sustainable. What is the purpose of these tools? Water! Water carries memory as I’ve said before in my blog and the human body is primarily water. The truth is we are not carrying our original blueprints as was intended for this time.

This impacts even our cell memory which has direct connections with our Heart chakra in our chest and astronomically or astrologically if we think about Regulus as the heart of Leo the Lion we could consider our activations and attunements which I had to endure several including three very potent specific ones for each level to reach Master within Reiki.

Sometimes I don’t quite understand how I’m able to channel/automatic write about something that I can sense and feel only to get online and find a confirmation/synchronicity of. Like this!

The keys to the copper Star Burst have a direct connection with the Great Pyramid, the Cardinal/Ordinal points, and the proportions of an 8-pointed star.

The present now moment is one of a cusp between the old and new world energies which manifest Goddess or Divine Feminine activations. We know honey held significance within the Mithraic themes as well.

Solar Return Chart for the Beehive Cluster

Today I’m using a Solar Return chart as my birthday is also nearing me within under 10 days to chart the Beehive Cluster which we can locate within my 6th House of Leo at 7°. And while I explain this below it’s not going to be a duplicate or replica of the natal chart.

With the above I have found that I can be a sucker for tuning fork concert ASMR no matter who performs it especially when you get headphones on. It’s unbelievably healing in my book! I once was an avid addict to ASMR channels because my mind is very overactive.

Tuning Fork Healing:

But why a Solar Return chart?

The Sun returns to its natal place on or even close to your original time of birth. It’s important to know which themes will be coming up in your life by watching for what will be emphasized and activated during this time. If it happens to be a period of intense change you may begin to delve deeply into your psyche with ongoing therapy for healing, solace, and confidence.

The Solar Return is meant to provide one with resolve and inspiration for the transformation they will undergo. For me at birth the Sun along with Regulus, Mercury, and Jupiter were within the 10th House of Leo placing importance upon the need to succeed in a chosen profession.

With an emphasis here at the 6th House we change gears instead with a focus upon creativity which if not expressed in everyday life leads us to becoming sick especially with regards to digestion. We can suffer work overload and should avoid any heart damaging diets.

This year our focus is upon health, breaking bad habits, and our day to day work/chores. You’ll also find within this house Mercury and the aspect patterns of the Beehive Cluster being conjunct Sun with a trine to Jupiter.

This is the placement for mind as well as body to receive a recharging for what lies ahead. One should take a break to unwind because emotional patterns are requiring that we surround ourselves with the correct people.

If you’re around anyone who does not sync to your vibration then it’s not a good time for group projects. Yesterday I wrote about toxic positivity and found that I was inherently guilty of it by using the “get over it” tagline in a prior blog post at the onset of 2022. As many times as I wrote walk away I was reminded of the same song using my name.

“Why do bees do so well in job interviews? They know all the good buzzwords.” – Unknown

Resilience is the key at this time so that we stop allowing others who are not at our vibratory level to stop spoiling our enjoyment of life. It’s a good time to focus on artistic or literary skills and partnerships that help us develop deep meaningful relationships of a mutual intellectual as well as emotional fulfillment.

The sharpness of a needle determines how easily it can penetrate the skin and by the same token the chart holder’s penetrating yet subtle insights can penetrate the consciousness of those who experience them. The chart holder can then work on them in ways that were unexpected. Using this power for the good of others is the challenge.

The Chandra Symbol for this degree is “A very weak cup of tea.” The barking of a dog permeates landscapes just as tea does water. The tea is very bland/subtle and to some it would seem like nothing remarkable. To those who tune in to the faint flavor and fragrance there may be a wondrous experience to savor. The experience of this is Universal/Cosmic and mysterious.

This intonation is felt by this degree as symbolizing far more than it outwardly is. The energy of this is much like homeopathy where as a substance is reduced physically its vibration is magnified. The barking dog’s echoes are calling forth deep emotions as signified by the Moon or the Cancer constellation while permeating the landscape creating an atmosphere that evokes the sublime.

And so this degree can be deceptively simple and bland yet evoke the grandeur of the infinite. Work with guardian angel Mebahiah and daimon Orobas.

Daimon Orobas is tied with the Two of Swords, Jupiter, Furze, and Libra. When we choose to work with this daimon it’s because we deisre to explore wisdom, change people’s opinions, put a stop to slander/gossip, be protected from one’s enemies, and experience astral travel or aetheric visions.

Now get ready for it! Do you know what fixed stars sit exactly at this degree. Well of course it’s the Beehive Cluster, but the addition is Asellus Borealis. Cancer being my Western MC as opposed to my Capricorn IC is also my Vedic Sun sign with a Leo lunar mansion. These two fixed stars form the manger/crib in which Christ is born and Cancer is the Gate of Man.

Anyone who knows their Bible also knows that someone rode in on a donkey which Asellus and Aselli are the etymological value of a donkey. Other names for this fixed star include a resting place. Associated with prosperity, auspiciousness, and priests/teachers of the Gods/Goddess we find the energies imbued to be that of medicine, sales, art, learning, and agriculture. Often one will be self controlled, learned, and charitable.

“The worst part about getting stung by bees? Tomorrow you’re going to have to take care of those hives.” – Unknown

We tend to forget that the Bible as well as all religious texts have many layers to unpack one being allegory that so many keep missing from time to time. And by this most of us realize that it is Universal/Cosmic or Christ consciousness that is available to all not any one particular human.

This degree is advised to work with Honey Calcite emphasizing a message of constant assurance that planning and navigation are correct for they focus upon a figure of light and hope that instills confidence in those around us. The affirmation is I look to the heavens for inspiration and beauty.

I hope you have a magnificent Monday everyone! I’ve ensured I compose this timely since I expect to be a bit busy over the next few days with some other projects and duties. Things like laundry, interviews, job applications, and sunflower seeds being collected. 🧺🌻🤔

Manifestation Mondays: Getting a Head Start on a Solar Return

As we inhale soothing well being through the radiant glow of an unsuspected lighthouse in the dark stormy nights of our life, we can come to feel the exhilarating rhythm of our heartbeat, finding compassion with ourselves and at one time reaching out to all the others. – Erik Pevernagie

It was recently pointed out to me there was this new chart for helping us answer the “Who am I” quandary. Never one to not be curious I went ahead and ran my natal information. But as I was mentally focusing on the season with the entire concept of celebrations of light returning to the world as well as our SAD (seasonal affective disorders) I thought this may be better if I snapshot myself or someone else’s incoming energy signature. We are so limited/tunnel vision sometimes in looking at natal or transits we forget progression and future oriented glances to equip ourselves better with potentialities we may encounter. As soon as I saw the results I began to have a massive ah-ha moment as to why I am feeling as I said this morning to family defective and an emotional wreck with trying to process what has been being sent my way on the internet and fed to me literally as in the meals I have been consuming.

It is because I have also recognized I am so ready for 2022. The last two years have been the worst roller coaster rides of my life. I have done my best to weather them with grace and gratitude, but now I am just dying to release the remains of hidden angst I locked away and ignored without giving it proper resolution. And these two years were a literal psycho-spiritual as well as emotional hurricane I have tried to survive without coming out of them as a demolished wreckage. I don’t like roller coaster rides; never have! It’s a quick way to cause me to feel nauseous and to have an anxiety attack coupled with my fear of heights!

I would encourage anyone to do this type of investigation for themselves or others. You do not have to pay for the most basic of charts, however, if you are one who wants to dig deeper you can pay for a more in depth look. What I an referring to is Genetic Matrix.

Today we will compare natal to solar return with a focus on 2022 not my natal which is simply provided for comparison. The information you provide for this is exactly the same information you give for any astrology chart so you will require name, birthdate, birth time, and birth place.

To save us all headaches I am using a lot of references for this post which require you to utilize my underlined hyperlink text. Please think of this as a scavenger hunt! As I love to send people on these.

I can not stress this enough. If you do not use or read anything from the researched links I am sharing you won’t be able to fully or contextually get the message of the blog post in the manner I intended. I do not expect you to agree with me just to be open minded which when I was on social media or put this before people who are self professed know-it-alls and experts who think they do no wrong ever shunned me for it and ostracized me for calling them on their guano. Same happened with MBTI. No one likes to think of life as a hypothesis and a science fair project. With no experimentation humans would be living as Plato’s cave people still, and we would have never made the advances we have made thus far. Why do people enjoy living in self imposed prisons?

I don’t go around thinking I know-it-all, and I believe this is one of the biggest mistakes most people are making out of their superiority/inferiority complexes and their innate need to be seen in some manner as worshiped by another due to excessive pride/vanity. Which reminds me of that strange quote about pride/vanity leading to a fall from grace when not kept in check. So I left them as I have previously said I do not have to walk your path. I do not have to behave as you do. Nothing anywhere says I have to live like you and be like you. Nothing says I am in the wrong for being true to myself. I am fine being alone or all one as a solitary. I have done so most of my life and it has never frightened me. It helps me to then not fear abandonment and to not be co-dependent so that I learn inter-dependence.

I also know the usual will come to troll and flame me for always using myself as an example. If there is one thing I do not get it is digging up famous people’s birth charts if you never got their permission. As I’ve said this is why I use my ancestors or myself. It seems presumptive to not have permission to use a client’s info and to do so regardless ignoring boundaries or to assume I have the “right” to use another’s info without them authorizing it. I find it rude or borderline theft of an identity so we’ll have to agree to disagree. The best way to learn sometimes is to actually be the one actively “performing or doing the work” because it shows someone who lives or leads by example. It also allows our mistakes to be on display which many others are not willing to be that vulnerable!

Waves hello! This is me at birth.

I am an Emotional Manifestor with a 1/3 Investigating/Martyr profile, Single definition, RAX Unexpected 2 incarnation cross, and the following channels:

When we consider emotions we have to recognize that people confuse their thoughts and feelings. They will say that they feel something when what they are actually communicating to us is their thoughts. Emotions are a single word descriptor for our emotional feelings which happen in our body while thoughts are the sentences, ideas, attitudes, moods, memories, and such which happen from within our minds.

The emotional and not-self themes which Genetic Matrix utilizes are collections of thoughts which tend to become our attitudes about life. These are the stories we tell about the way life is treating us and the lens that we see this world through. They always begin in the mental realm first.

Thoughts do create emotional feelings therefore there will be some feelings which come along for the ride. These feelings are absolutely not limited to the ones implied by Human Design’s emotional or the not-self themes. Our feelings generate the fuel of our actions which indicates strongly that there are clear and distinct actions which will fall within the realm of emotional and not-self themes.

Most important we as humans are adopting a belief that we will somehow magically live happily ever after and experience our emotional signature all the time on a permanent basis. But and this is very important with shadow work happily ever after is for the end of our romantic comedies and fairy tales. Real life on Earth is all about emotional contrasts and it gets messy as you know. It’s about all the guano that happens before the happy ever after.

We are “supposed to” feel the full spectrum of emotions. There will be moments of bliss followed by moments of abject unwanted torture. There will be moments of joy followed by moments of heart wrenching sadness. There will be moments of foul obnoxious anger followed by moments of wondrous peace. All of it is part of our human experience. There is not one thing you can do to experience non-stop bliss and joy for every minute of every day. Despite what you believe you don’t really want to experience that. When people or animals die you want to mourn. When unjust guano occurs you want to feel pissed and act out your rage. When you are walking down a dark alley at night you want to feel fear so that courage springs forth from it. When you treat your loved one like tossed out garbage you want to feel ashamed for it so that you learn to treat them better next time and learn the art of apologizing. All of these emotions have great wisdom to offer you and teach you about a well lived life!

Those negative thoughts and feelings will fuel negative action if you don’t know how to work with them in a skillful way. Even if you do everything correct according to your design you will still be a human being on Earth. Human Design’s emotional and not-self themes are not a representation of nor proof that you have performed in life right or wrong.

To learn about Manifestors please go here for a thorough explanation. This information may prove to be useful as well.

Here is information on the remaining pieces of the puzzle for my natal blueprint to save time and space.

Waves hello again! This is me at my solar return in 2022.

I am an Emotional Projector with a 2/4 Hermit/Opportunist profile, Split-Small definition, RAX Unexpected 2 incarnation cross, and the following channels:

Here is some information on Projectors. I also found the following insight. What gets interesting for me is the Hermit/Opportunist profile due to it’s inherent nature with tarot, Virgo, and esoterics we can tie in.

The Hermit is Virgo and it is widely known this also deals with digestion as well as the previous blog post I wrote for the zodiac sign. I could go on and on about this card metaphysics wise like the number 9. The cat is due to my Leo stellium because I legit feel like this image. Virgo is my 11th House holding Saturn, Lilith, Moon, my North Node (present karma), and Regulus who with Ketu in Vedic astrology rules the lunar mansion I was born in precessed to Virgo at the zero point/degree location from Leo which I have been studying for years and previously blogged about in my expanding awareness. As most astrologers are not looking at the in-depth in the manner as I do which I have not fully integrated into my business due to the hopes I would generate income through astrology reports or donations to open up podcasts as I have a camera, but really want a good microphone. This reads like Amaterasu as an archetype. I can’t even… I don’t know how to emote on this one.

I don’t think a Gofundme would work. I observed a follower when i was on Twitter who had a great idea, set up Patreon, and no one ever supported their efforts. They abandoned their craft. Sure, they became my follower on Twitter, but they objectively were calling it quits as their latest updates to their Twitter feed were October 2021 so you could tell they were in the last death throws. Another follower I met on Twitter was attempting mental health coaching because they had gone in for CBT and were confronting their suicidal ideation. I usually was reaching out to these people more than others on Twitter. I am a huge believer in the under dog and in building up those that society has chosen to reject as unworthy. The well to do attractive types with their millions of fan base are not my thing because I don’t like leaving someone behind! I don’t believe in shunning someone that everyone else classes “unpopular.”

Then my social media became a place to be harassed, scammed, and I had to leave them behind and deactivate my account to not be slandered/libeled, mob stalked, or have a calamity with regards to my identity and finances. No one is recognizing their actions have consequences that are far reaching. Throw a pebble in water and observe the ripple effect so that you understand better what you’re doing my fellow humans please! You might do harm intentionally or otherwise. Now these people instead have to remain in my prayers. I had never established other means to connect with them because I never expected everything to go south like a snow avalanche I may have been buried and left for dead under. And I believe I have a right to be angered or disappointed by all of this. Which actually reminds me of another follower I gained whose account was based on the fact that our feelings do matter and we have a right to “feel as we do.” Even if others wish to discount or write us off as HSP (highly sensitive people). She was a member of the group who had a semicolon tattoo. I pay attention quite well to details as I’ve said; too well! To the utter dismay of others who can’t understand me and may never be able to.

I don’t want to have audio problems if I desire to make podcasts, and I hardly think my Canon Eos is enough. I can’t afford right now the Microsoft software with it’s subscriptions to do anything so I work off the Onedrive cloud for all my needs. I miss Apple who I easily got a free video editor and Office software cheap as a one time payment. I have learned I detest Windows for nickel and diming me. It feels like a rip off when I look at Apple. Then the image editing software costs I’m going to need to cover are daunting right now. It never ends! I had so many less hangups on iOS. I also do not want to make videos off my older iPhone 8 as the battery is degraded from working for Instacart which killed it. I have a “stuck” moment right now that is causing me to feel like I am a failure or defeated. Twitter was only one piece of my issues in the last two months and it feels compounded as well as overwhelming! This makes me not know where to even begin resolution as I feel swallowed and sinking in mire.

Blogging is not a correct teaching method or the only tool I want to use. Nor is a digital book! I even toyed with the idea of making my own tarot deck and began composing the book to accompany the cards I wanted to create which is now simply not seeing fruition or Redbubble ideas that are now also stunted which I have not yet pursued. I do not know where to begin with it, and I gave up for myriad excuses. I don’t know if they will see the light of day. This has then been wreaking havoc in my personal life with family and friends. Being blocked is making my life a literal nightmare as I can not figure out where or how to express that I am like a fish floundering out of my bowl gasping for air! To the point I barely want to wake up and move every day or garden, eat, play a video game, etc. It is killing me! And family/friends alike should not suffer for this when I project it due to feeling like I am line dancing at one step forward five steps back. It just feels icky, and I hate being like this! Imagine how much better these long blog entries would be if it as a podcast.

If I did a Gofundme I know I’d get flack as soon as someone sees that I live with my family and finds out their income bracket. But that is their money that they worked hard for and their job is also not to always assist me. I can barely get someone to donate $1. I’m not asking for anyone’s life savings just a little help and asking when you get nothing or see others get nothing makes you go settle again for that low paying job because you have to make your way and can’t sit there with nothing to show for your efforts. So I’m well aware this is a time ticking bomb which may go nowhere, and I’ll go back to my usual grunt work if it continues as it has. I wish it was different, but I’m well familiar with the outcomes I generate in life and the lessons I’m expected to learn. It does not negate the fact that these lessons have been tough to undertake.

Here is information on the remaining piece of the puzzle for my solar return blueprint to save time and space. If you have a split definition you will have two or more sets of defined centers that don’t connect to each other. This means I feel an energetic need to be around others to make me feel complete. And I might feel like I function with two or more separate aspects to my personality.

My splits are at Gates 12 and 35. Both are in my Throat chakra which now the picture is beginning to make sense to me for what I am experiencing.

The Throat chakra is 100% about communication. This point is where all the energy in the body is moving to find expression. It is through this center that manifestation, metamorphosis, and transformation always takes place. When in balance the Throat chakra speaks in a fixed manner with a consistent expression from whichever energy center it is connected to. The imbalanced Throat chakra has no consistent voice which creates nervousness and a pressure cooker environment propelling one to struggle with speaking their truth. The open Throat chakra wants to attract attention by expressing something or by saying that it will do something (manifestation) in order to relieve this pressure. It can speak in many voices or tongues via different ways of expression as long as it is not forced. The open Throat chakra wisdom is to learn that there is nothing which needs to be done or said; silence is okay. The open Throat chakra question is: “Am I trying to attract attention?”

Ironically on Saturday I linked to the Delerium song Silence in my blog post. Therefore I was already processing the energy of 2022 in the present now moment. I am not even on the same time map as others which is just mind boggling. When did I take a vow of silence? This incarnation, past incarnation, what the…

The Gate of Caution (Gate 12) is the energy of speaking from one’s heart in an individual way. The energy here says, ”I love you.” It can express itself through shyness as it is vulnerable.

The Gate of Change (Gate 35) is the sense of needed change. Here is a sense that the wheel needs to turn. This is not a logical next step, but a sense that this is the right direction for one to go. When walking around a wheel there will need to be another step and then another step to keep the wheel turning and in motion to prevent stagnation.

Not only this, but two days after my solar return in 2022 is a New Moon in Leo at 5°. The New Moon on July 28, 2022 has an illumination of 0%. This is the percentage of the Moon illuminated by the Sun. The illumination is constantly changing and can vary up to 10% a day. On July 28, 2022 the Moon is 29.31 days old. This refers to how many days it has been since the last New Moon. It takes 29.53 days for the Moon to orbit the Earth and go through the lunar cycle of all 8 Moon phases.


KEYNOTE: The structuring power of elemental forces during the long cycle of planetary evolution.

Dwarfing the time allowed to individual human beings, the vast periods of geological evolution not only awe our imagination, but allow the slow yet magnificent work of elemental forces as they mold landscapes and canyons, rocks, and mountains. This symbol points to our need to acquire a much vaster perspective on what we are able to do – and on our yearning for prolonged youth and our pride in masculine achievements. The works of nature should make us feel humble and help us to ‘planetarize’ our consciousness.

This first stage symbol concludes the first level sequence. It stands in broad pictorial contrast to the first, or rather it seeks to impress us with our vanity as creators of forms and mental achievers. To the dramatic and proud Leo type, it presents a picture of IMPERSONALITY.


The message is resilience and enduring strength will lead to a higher awareness. The focus is you are a rock of strength and support enabling others to withstand hardships. The affirmation is I am blessed with stability of mind from which I have a panoramic view.

I will continue studying this for myself. It is the only way I will get a handle on my situation to move forward. And hopefully as I plan for 2022 studying this will give me a way to be more proactive at finding solutions instead of wallowing myself in whatever dark night of the soul I am trapped within. I have sandstone, but it is blue sandstone. I should probably work with it more! I also get it! To most people either they don’t like me perceiving I’m the newbie on the block or the high school freshman which means humans have not yet grown up from as I alluded to before the pathetic need to humiliate as a rite of passage which I find immature. If you’re not the “popular” kid on the block prepare to be bullied because we have not ascended beyond these practices which I’ve always felt are absurd. Fossilized customs is what I feel I’m surrounded by which others claim to be “traditions.” This gal calls it rubbish and asks that humans grow up from their infantile beginnings. Stop throwing your building block toys around and put them back in the toy box. Pick up after yourselves.

That is not negative self talk. If you saw a lot of the esoteric people I saw most of them are in elitist cliques of holier-than-thouism, and the vibe I get is they can’t grasp niche markets or sharing. They are operating not from love, but legitimate fear. Fear of being open, fear of trusting others, and a myriad other conditions I sensed. They try to hide that fact by using other ways to defend their beliefs and behavior, but the real energy I sensed is they are incapable of remembering what it ever felt like to be the new person entering new terrain. If I expressed it as not just monetary hyperinflation, but hyper-inflated sense of self I’d probably get tomatoes thrown at me right now. Therefore they are now incapable of fostering or mentoring another. You can have a lot of light, but never forget humans that light will always create a shadow which you’re refusing to work with which has some potent consequences in the individual and collective psyche. Essentially I felt like because I “mix it up” and don’t follow the status quo everyone else follows I should not be online even trying. And others may get their wish! I am only willing to tolerate so much before I will withdraw, pack up my bags, and leave others to their own devices because it becomes I have to put me first.

Happy Monday and best wishes everyone! 😘 Apologies if you see proofreading errors. I’ve proofread 3x now! I’m one person, and I may have missed something.